A 17th Century Christmas

In a castle the servants ate well, none more so than the kitchen staff, this extract from 'The Early Life of Erasmus O'Rourke' takes you into early Irish life! More extracts can be read on Google Book Search

. The castle had been fed and was now resting and the festivities in the kitchen could now commence. The tables had not only been put up but were laden with a meal fit for the kitchen servants, who were never known to skimp when it came to eating.

By now the pages, grooms and most of the older retainers were milling around filling their mugs with ale. The chambermaids were behaving in a manner most unbecoming for young ladies, not that they were young ladies, but still propriety would have been expected this early in the proceedings, already they were loosening their bodices and being coltish. This thought Erasmus was not like the Christmases past. The cottage had always celebrated the occasion, but the diet by midwinter had already become meagre. His mother would make an effort and his father would drink the poteen he had made and become drunk. He realised that the latter part of his thoughts were not dissimilar to the scene in front of him, and he reflected that lining his stomach with milk had not been a bad idea.

‘These stools are for us.’ He felt Deidre’s hand on his arm as she pulled him and Paddy to one side where already some mugs of ale awaited them. Quickly the stools were filled and the trenchers were piled high with roast beef, pieces of wild geese, colcannon and black and white puddings chunked into mouth size pieces, assuming you had a wide mouth. Then as they were finishing their first mugs of ale Aingeal aided by the scullions carried the wassail bowl to the central table and removed the clothe covering it. Without the refinement of a jug to serve there was much jostling and elbow digging. Paddy quickly dipped their mugs into the liquid pushing the roasted apples that were bobbing on the surface to one side and filled the mugs to the brim.

‘There we go, a real good mix by the smell, all wine, and plenty of spices and sugar,’ said Paddy who was already sipping at his mug. ‘And there’s something else in there, has cook been adding a little poteen to give it a little extra?’ He looked at Deidre as if expecting an answer, but she was already paying attention to Erasmus.

‘Did you like your bed, kept the wood real smooth, shouldn’t think there’ll be any splinters; what with the new mattress, I should think it’s better than before for sleeping.’

If anything could have been inferred by her comment then it was lost on Erasmus who was wondering just how much food was on his trencher and hadn’t been paying attention to either of them, not that it was possible to hear much above the noise He cut a slice from the beef and with some colcannon started to make some headway on his trencher. Without thinking, and not having paid attention to Paddy, he took a large quaff from his mug which was substituting for a wassail cup. The liquid hit the back of his throat making him almost spit it out, recovering in time he swallowed in one gulp only to bring water to his eyes. ‘What was that,’ he spluttered looking at his companions.

‘Ah to be sure you like to drink heartily, we’ll be carrying you to your bed tonight if you’re to be drinking like that.’ Paddy was now laughing out aloud.

Erasmus on the other hand was resolving to pay more attention to what was being put in front of him. He had come to the conclusion that though festivities could be enjoyable, the after effects could be less so.

‘Here have this, maybe it’s not so spicy,’ Deidre handed him a smaller mug.

Now being more careful he took a sip, but he had already smelt the sweet smell of mead, and knowing its effect despite its mild nature, he placed it to one side. Then in order to avoid too much liquid he ate slowly from the trencher. A trickle of unidentified liquid trickled over the table and over the edge. Before it could reach his léine Erasmus moved his legs to one side, and then taking hold of a clothe wiped the table surface.

Deidre misunderstanding the movement was only conscious of his legs pressing against hers and respond by leaning onto him. ‘This is more like it, nothing like Christmas to get close.’

Maybe it was the wassail, or the ale, or the mead, but Erasmus was beginning to like the pressure of her body against his and on this occasion was not inclined to move away. ‘Do you like having your hair down, I mean it looks nice, and I was wondering …’ Small talk was not one of Erasmus’s attributes and he was fumbling for some thing to say. ‘It’s very long, I mean when you’re working you have it all coiled up under your coif, but it’s a fine length.’ As he spoke he trailed his fingers through her hair.

This time it was Paddy’s time to choke on his mug of wassail. Watching from the corner of his eye, he had sensed the growing awareness in Erasmus, that there was more to be enjoyed than merriment on these occasions, affection he hadn’t seen up till now. Though he told himself it was none of his business, he resolved to keep an eye on the relationship. It was in his interest to ensure that the patronage given to Erasmus was not sullied.

Enjoying the attention being given, Deidre started to cut from the ham to place some on Erasmus’s trencher. Then remembering a forgotten intention, she slipped from the stool and went off to the pantry only to return moments later to surreptitiously place some large prawns by the side of Paddy’s and Erasmus’s trenchers. ‘Special they be, extra large, some say from Dublin, but I’d not be knowing these things.’

Then the kitchen maids made to the hearth, and taking the platters placed mincemeat pies still hot on them, large oblong shaped pies filled with mincemeat heavy with fruit, spices and meats. The cook had been helping herself to some Spanish brandy that had found its way into the buttery and now the mince pies. Sugar had given the fermentation of the mincemeat added sweetness. Butter had been liberally used in making the pastry and this oozed from the surface of the lidded top. Soon a large portion found its way onto each of the trenchers in front of them, and Paddy’s face was again wreathed in smiles. ‘To be sure this is the way to eat, and will we be having plum pudding to follow?’

‘I hope not,’ said Erasmus, ‘I shall never eat this, well not all of it.’ Then removing the belt from his waist he laid it around his shoulders.

Almost unnoticed Deidre was stroking his thigh. This she decided was going to be a Christmas to remember and she was savouring every moment.

Claire came around the table. ‘You’ll not be forgetting the plum puddings, Aingeal said to tell you to fetch the thick cream and the butter from the pantry. You do that, and Niamh will help me put the puddings on the table.’ That said, she motioned to Niamh who had been watching them talking. Quickly they put the puddings on their platters along the centre of the table while Deidre carried bowls heaped with thick cream, and some with butter. The appearance for Paddy was as if they had come from heaven itself, and he was reaching for a helping of the delicious luscious fruit and suet laden puddings as they filled the air with a fragrance of spices and fumes, fumes from were they had been drenched in spirit. Before they were barely on the table his trencher would seem to be filled. The plum pudding was followed by enormous ladles of cream, topped with a dollop of butter. And then as if to make sure he would be ill later he poured honey over the top watching it spill over the edges. ‘Now that’s a pudding,’ he said to his companions quaffing at the mead he had resorted to as the wassail bowl was now empty.

Erasmus did not wish to offend Aingeal, who he remembered some weeks ago spent hours with the kitchen maids stoning the plums, and cleaning the suet. Aingeal had then kept awake half the night, taking it in turns with Claire topping up the water while the puddings were boiling. So he placed some on his trencher, intending to stop at that. Deidre thinking he was not aware of the cream took a ladle and covered his plum pudding.

‘Err, no butter, I think I have enough.’ He looked around for something to drink whilst eating, then realising that there was only ale, or mead, he settled for the former rather than becoming involved in drinking mead.

It was some time later when sitting near the doorway with Deidre that he noticed Paddy had, by his absence, already gone to his quarters. The kitchen was now clearing and the scullions were wearily clearing up some of the mess. ‘Seems that that’s the end of Christmas,’ he said almost sorrowfully. ‘Time to gather our strength for the morrow.’

‘Mmmm …, that’s a good idea, I have to be up early getting this lot straightened out,’ but she still kept her arm close around his waist.

‘Come on let’s be having you it’s nearly daybreak,’ Paddy gave Erasmus a shake to awaken him.

‘What’s the haste, we’ve not to be anywhere in particular today.’ Erasmus stirred lazily slowly coming out of a lethargic stupor.

‘Ay, maybe you haven’t but this one has,’ and lifting the covers high he playfully slapped Deidre’s naked bottom, ‘come on my girl, if they catch you here, they’ll be sending you both out the door.’ Seeing her confusion he continued, ‘It will be no good saying you were just keeping him warm. And for you to be saying you were just showing her the bed, which I’ve no doubt you were, and she was showing you a thing or two I be bound. In that I’ll not be wrong in thinking others would agree.’

Deidre was quick to see the situation and was dressed and out to the kitchen in literally seconds.

‘I don’t know how that happened, we were just talking about why a strung bed is not used by everybody, and then we ended up here.’ Erasmus sought to explain, but could see that it was wasted on Paddy.

‘And you need to tell me what it was about, don’t be bothering. Just make sure you don’t do anything foolish, you have a good life here in front of you, be a shame to spoil it.’ For me as well thought Paddy, for I’m sure to get the blame.

Christmas day became Epiphany, and the gorging continued, spiced beef, legs of pork, sausages. A regular supply of different pastries, finally on twelfth night the iced cake, and Epiphany was behind them. Paddy kept an eye on his friends, and made sure when they were keeping warm that they were up before the others. Christmas for 1629 was soon over.

‘In the Path of the Pilgrims’

Episode Four

Parador Villafranca del Bierzo; this was one of those stops we somehow didn’t photograph, it was decorated in the Castilian style. As the village was one of the overnight stops used by the pilgrims we made this one of our stops – but in great comfort. From the village there are wonderful views of the Ancares mountain range but we were enchanted by the storks nesting in the village. And we were delighted that we had a stork nesting right outside our bedroom window. Again the restaurant had a splendid menu including trout and a fantastic veal stew. It has been closed for the summer but is due to reopen fully refurbished by the end of November.

Parador ‘Hostel San Marcos’ Leon.

This was probable the best Parador stop. Not on our itinerary but we sort of wandered into it! was originally a ‘monastery’ of the twelfth century giving lodgings to the pilgrims. It was rebuilt in the sixteenth century and is now a Parador, it was great and is one of the most beautiful Renaissance buildings in Spain. The restaurant was very, very good.

'Matilda’ under police escort was driven by a very obliging doorman to the garages... hilarious.

All the local sights were wonderful. And the stained glass windows in the Cathedral magnificent.

Outside the Casa Botines in Leon is the Guadi Bench with one seated gentleman and pigeon, when we were there it was two gentlemen as can be seen in the photo.

The last stop in Spain was the Parador ‘Santa Domingo de la Calzada.

The best Parador of all for us, and we have repeated our visit to this. We always ask for room number eight. Is it special – no but we like it, so we have the same room each time. The Parador receptionists always seems to be happy that we want this particular room; possibly it was the clock tower by the window where the bell rings on the hour and quarter hour very loudly.

And then back through France to -

Monet’s Gardens at Giverny – but that’s another blog!

In the Path of the Pilgrims

Episode Three

So we continue along our route to Santiago de Compostela.; and our visits to the Paradores. May I digress? I have said the Paradores are a treat to be sampled and I can only recommend that you click onto their website if intending to holiday in Spain http://www.paradores-spain.com you can see the prices and work it out for yourself in each case.On this stage of our journey we stayed first at the

Parador Vilaba; A medieval Galician tower which was the main focal point of the town and the principle remaining part of the building, all the rest has been restored though there are some rooms in the tower. The decor and restoration is all in a medieval style, and the modern extensions had excellent bedrooms and dining rooms. The menu hadsome specialities of the region. I tried the cooked pork with turnip tops – I can’t say I would recommend it! But breakfast in all the Paradores is fantastic.

Lugo; This was a quick visit to see the walls and Cathedral of Lugo but we only stayed for tapas and then back to Vilaba - and then onwards.

‘Hostel dos Reis Catolicos Santiago de Compostela’ The Parador was constructed as a ‘Hospital Real’ to shelter the pilgrims in 1499 and is now considered to be the oldest hotel in the world, always a debateable point.It certainly lived up to its five star rating, though there was some discussion amongst the porters as to who should have the honour of taking our very old car to the garage. Originally the Parador was a Royal Hospital and gave lodgings to the pilgrims.Now it is very luxurious, that’s if you fancy having golden wash basins in your on-suite bathroom.
And it has very beautiful cloisters leading onto wonderful bedrooms. The Galician food served in the restaurants was sheer heaven. All this if you are over fifty-five years of age has a 30% discount.

Santiago de Compostela Cathedral; The main purpose of the ‘Peregrinos’ pilgrims walk is to reach the Cathedral and visit the Silver Urn with the remains of St James the Apostle.
The Cathedral was truly magnificent and down below in the crypt were the remains of St James. I am always a little suspicious of the authenticity of some of the religious relics, still no harm done, and for many it has great significance.For those interested in adventure books, Bernard Cornwell chose this Cathedral as the settings for a battle in one of his ‘Richard Sharpe’ books.

Parador de Tui; This is what you might call a diversion of some importance. The Parador is a typical manor house, the bedrooms are furnished in a rustic style. The menu in the restaurant is varied – Lamprey – eels - fillet steak, and even some gluten free dishes, you are spoilt for choice. But for us it was the call of the shellfish, the coast line is very well known for its shellfish,

and the village of A Guarda is the best of the lot. Somebody got it right, mussel followed by scallops, and then ‘lobster’, a meal to be recalled again and again. Margaret is always happy to carefully dissect a lobster, not missing any of it.

Monte de Santa Tecla is just outside Tui and the path to the top is lined with crosses.
to do with the pilgrims walk but worth a visit.. The remains of a Celtic settlement of approximately 100 dwellings is on the hilltop above A Guarda.

Portugal; a visit to Viana do Castlo, it was a case of in and out just to say we had visited Portugal – yes we will be going back fairly soon. The bridge from Spain to Portugal was built by Gustav Eiffel of Eiffel Tower (Paris) fame; the bridge is just outside Tui.

A wonderful visit was made in ‘Santiago de Compostela’ but there is more to come.

Next Episode ‘Parador ‘Hostel San Marcos’ Leon’

In the Path of the Pilgrims

Episode Two

First stop the Parador de Argomaniz which was originally the Palace of Larrea. Now you’re catching on, I do like my creature comforts. Actually it is only a small Palace but very comfortable, built in the classical Renaissance style. It is located 13 km from Vitoria Gasteiz, but the main reason for choosing it was that it is just outside Bilbao. The Guggenheim Museum is there and that we wanted to see. Designed by Frank O Gehry we were keen to visit. It was murder to park but worth it.

Guggenheim Museum Bilbao; this is not part of the Pilgrim’s Path as it was only opened to the public in 1997, but it is a must for anybody visiting the area. Designed by Frank O. Gehry it is a significant piece of modern architecture and has to be visited if only to see the buildings. The inside has a changing exhibition, plus some permanent items.


Parador Cangas de Onis; the second stop is the 12th Century Benedictine Monastery of San Pedro de Villanuerva. This is beside the River Stella and our room looked directly onto the river and surrounding countryside. No we were not in the tower but in a modern extension.The Roman Bridge in the town is a typical example of the Visigothic period which eventually led to the establishment of Catholicism in Spain.

ASTURIAS ; Close by are the Picos de Europa and the Austurian farming areas, it is a fantastic place to go rambling.
The cows give the most wonderful milk and are very friendly, but the grain has to be stored were the rats etc can’t get at it.

















Parador de Ribadeo; The Parador is a modern conversion of a Galician house situated on the mouth of the River Eo. Our room looked down on the estuary and the small port. We were able to watch the boats being loaded and also the rowing races on the river.

Playa de Cathedrales




This beach was quite close to Ribadeo and while exploring the Rias Alto (coast line), we called in at this beach, first at low tide when we were able to go on the beach, and then at high tide when it was completely under water.

Next Episode - 'Hostel dos Reis Catolicos de Compostela'

Northern Spain ‘In the Path of the Pilgrims’

A blog in several episodes so that there is something to follow!

Episode One
In the path of the ‘Peregrinos’ or ‘The Walk of St James,’ both titles signify only one thing – walking and I only walk under protest. The idea is to follow the path to the resting place of St James the Apostle (Santiago) whose remains were taken supposedly along this route to the coast of Galicia. Certainly in the Cathedral Santiago de Compostela there is a magnificent urn said to contain his remains and that of two of his followers. And I believe anything that does no harm.
We fancied visiting some more of the State hotels of Spain so we decided to follow the ‘path’. Did I walk it, did I heck! ‘Matilda’ our twelve year old Nissan was selected for the trip and across France we went to find the start for us, this was on the French/Spanish border.
Now followers of my blogs have by now worked out I like to treat myself, so the choice of State hotels doesn’t seem to fit. However there are in Spain, and on their Islands, over one hundred State hotels called Paradores. Try their web site http://www.paradores-spain.com I’ve been lucky and visited about fifty, but I digress.
The routes through Northern Spain to Santiago de Compostela are followed on foot by the pilgrims. The main ones are the French Path and the North Path; we are modern pilgrims and prefer a car. So the following photographs are taken as we followed the North Path in and the French Path out ‘sort of’. And this trip was without blisters.

If you can follow the map you will see the route for all four blogs (episodes).
The way in took in the Guggenheim Museum in Bilbao and followed the coast via Argomaniz, Cangas de Onis, Ribadeo, Vilaba and into Santiago de Compostela. The route out was Tui, with a diversion into Portugal, Villafranca del Bierzo, Leon and Santiago Dominigo de la Calzada. We stopped for the night at the Parador’s as these were one of the main reasons for the trip being an historic treat themselves.

And on the drive back through France a visit to ‘Monet’s gardens at Giverny, which will be a blog another day’

Return to Blogging

For those that followed my blogs my departure was sudden and abrupt I shall explain. For some time we had planned to sell our house in Essex and buy a smaller ‘bolt hole’ nearer to my daughter and granddaughter. Our house went on sale the first week in April and an offer was made and accepted within the first week. We then looked for our ‘bolt hole in the village where my daughter lived but not keen on the properties for sale in the village. Our granddaughter who lived thirty minutes away was pointing out suitable houses in her village; we looked and found just what we wanted – all nice, and quick, and simple!
Now for those that know better I have now joined your numbers; selling and buying are both hells – sheer hell. They say selling your house is the worst experience you can encounter – they (whoever they are) are correct. I never realised that lawyers could find so many reasons to drag out the whole thing, and it took almost four months. Only four months the experts said when i mentioned it– gosh you were lucky! Luck, I didn’t think it was very lucky – but it seems I stand corrected.
Now when we had agreed the sale - and I thought it was going to be simple, it seemed a good idea to rearrange my book sales at the same time – just change the printers and the distribution system. Oh, and while we were at it sort out a national advertising campaign. Now I should have known better, but fools rush in where angels fear to tread. There is only one way this last summer can be summed up – a mad house. Certainly tweeting and blogging went out of the window, but now a little bit of sanity has arrived – oh yes, I forgot, the builders started work this morning putting in the footings for a conservatory; first thing to remove is an old tree root system that comes out of the ground with a seven foot bole to get in the way.
I shall endeavour to put my first blog of the season out this weekend so watch this space.
Did I mention I also set up my books with Amazon Kindle just to keep me busy
Signing off for now, and I hope my followers are ready for my assault on their reading time.

Patrick

Location blog - where to find me!

I have been asked for more information on my profile. Not by many, but it’s an excuse for this blog! I am sending out blogs; and you are reading them, but a little more detail is asked for. So you could go to the following sites.

Two places.
Tweet site http://twitter.com/ErasmusORourke is my twitter site. Please note that there is no apostrophe between the O & R in O’Rourke in the URL

My author’s web site www.patrickcoulson.co.uk It is an informative web site, and book promotion site. However it has a short bio, and also photographs in the gallery, (including a sun-set view from our balcony). The Web-site was designed and produced by my eldest granddaughter, and it is very professional and uncomplicated.
The Members section is for those who would like to read short stories at no charge, and no obligations at all. You can miss it out by not logging/joining into that section.

My books that are shown you can buy. You can also skip that bit very easily as you have to click on each one, and then leave the site to buy at national sites, but it is not possible on this author’s site You have to go to, Amazon.com for U.S.A, and Amazon.co.uk for Europe etc., Nobles and Barnes have some of my books, as do many other sites worldwide. Google Book Search allows you to read sections of the books before going to sales sites. Search under Patrick C Coulson; please make sure you put in the middle C.

Hope that explains where to find me. And I apologize for the commercial.

Kind regards Patrick

The things that cost you nothing

When you reflect on the life around you sometimes you almost despair of what we inflict on each other. I don’t mean the painful and cruel things, but the life style and wonderful way of living! We have our transport system – we just love traffic jams – airport lounges – railway station on a winters day – tossing around on the ocean. Then there are the beauticians, treatment for both men and women, slapping mud on your face and you pay them. All those cosmetics we simply must have, the joy of the gymnasium. We must get drunk –why? Our youngsters must have their weekly night binging! And it all costs a lot of money.

If you wonder is anything joyful then the answer is yes.

When I wake of a morning the first thing I do is cuddle up to my wife, and it costs nothing, but it’s wonderful. When I get up I love to go into the garden and when in England make a cup of tea and go and sit by the water pond and listen to the silence of the garden. Yes you can hear silence and it costs nothing. Then the dawn chorus starts, yes I like to get up early, there are so many birds that sing in that chorus and they give it the works, and it costs nothing. Somebody tells a joke, a good joke and you laugh; it costs nothing to laugh or smile. As you walk along a street and you catch somebody’s eye inadvertently, it costs nothing to smile, or say good day, and it probably makes them feel good. The fortunate ones on this planet have fresh pure water to our homes, and what a wonderful drink is fresh, cool water on a summer’s day.

If you awoke this morning feeling grumpy, then reflect. You are here and there is plenty to enjoy that cost nothing. Go for a walk, early when you can look around you, and study the hedgerows and the gardens as you walk along. Watch a couple of blackbirds searching for worms and insects on a neighbour’s lawn. If you are sitting in your garden then contemplate on everything good that has happened to you lately.

So you haven’t got a garden. There are parks and public woodlands all around you, the exercise walking there should be taken at a leisurely pace. No rush, it will wait for your arrival. It’s been snowing! Before the traffic gets on the road it can be a fairyland, crunching through the snow costs nothing.

So sit back and think of what you have that costs nothing, just sitting back costs nothing.

It is a wonderful world, it’s what we make of it that can spoil it.

Wines for the Connoisseur

Nowadays everybody drinks wine – nothing better to make the world feel a better place. Mind you it should be in moderation, and if possible fine wine. Fortunately there is very little wine that cannot be drunk (sipped), but you need to be discriminate. I drink cheap wine! really? Well my pocket rules the day, and one thing I do know about wine, it is not always the price that makes it taste better. Living in Spain mostly I drink Spanish wine, and I choose wisely.

Now I used to drink the very best wine but times are changing, and corked wine is a thing of the past. Wine comes from all corners of the world and made under clinical conditions. The person who sends back a bottle of wine with an air of, ‘You see I know about wine and they shouldn’t serve this, it’s corked etc’ is normally out of line. Actually what they really mean is, ‘I don’t know a thing about wine, and foolishly I have chosen one I don’t like!’

In the 70’s I became a wine connoisseur, I kid you not. But it was a mistake, a really lovely mistake. Margaret and I decided to go to France in the autumn of 1977 and being methodical, and always happy to write; I sent a letter to the ‘Comite National des Vins de France.’ They are now on the internet and list everything you need to know. I explained that we would be visiting the Beaujolais region at the end of October, and could they recommend an itinerary. Now in those days the only people it seemed who wrote to the ‘Comite’ were the professional wine houses, and we had always called our home ‘Enterprise House’. The response was perfect, an invitation was extended by the Marie de Romaneche-Thorins; we were invited to be their guests at the Fete Raclet, (Very selective Beaujolais wine tasting event) on the 29th of October and to attend the ‘Banquet Officiel’. We had been directed there by the all powerful ‘Comite’ so we were invited to join their wine tasting. And we attended for several years; not now as it seems to have become very commercial and the days when we two were the only English people attending are long since gone.

From at the time I was in I was hooked, and studied all the wine books and drank the best wine. Now it wasn’t as expensive as you might think! You buy when the wine is young – direct from the Propriétaire-viticulteur or the Negociants de Vins and wait a few years. Or if you fancy going to Sotheby’s Wine Auctions then you can bid for wine with the professionals. After a while they would recognise us and give us a nod as we walked into the auction, wonderful for the ego. If you know what you’re doing it can be very worthwhile. I bought a bottle of La Tache in the late 70’s which I sold recently for £600-00, it was going to be used for our Golden Wedding but we decided to sell it in auction. Well we worked it out like this; we drink GOOD cheap wines now, and this sale resulted in exchanging one bottle for about three hundred. As I said drinking wine can be very reasonable three hundred bottles for our original £50.

The moral of the story is, drink modestly both in volume and quality, and it will do your heart good – so they say!

Keeping off politics for a while and will leave it to the others. And I shall tell another wine blog another day. - Regards to all Patrick

IMF proposes Taxes and Controls on Banking!

The IMF has proposed taxing the bonuses paid by banks, and limiting the size of the banks. Sounds like a good idea but why do I think it’s a long way off!

In the U.K. we have an election going on, which party of any strength – ha-ha - will play hard ball with the banks, and thereby not exactly have their support once in power in Westminster. I nearly said back in power for a further five years. Still you never know, pigs do fly, even if it’s in planes, when they can fly (ASH). It’s a topsy turvy world to be sure.

But is it the banks that are the problem, of course these high bonuses are ridiculous, but the pay for their jobs should be open to close scrutiny, and if excessive, then adjustments should take place, and quickly. It always seems proposals are for the future not for now. Hit the miscreants now, check the figures now. So they have contracts. Well it’s quite simple change the tax thresholds so that the excessive payments and bonuses are hit. But that I think is what the IMF is proposing and a fat lot of good proposals are.

One thing doesn’t seem to occur to the leaders of the so-called developed countries; there is only so much available in the cake, you can bake a slightly bigger cake if you have the ingredients. That means produce more from the manufacturing section, (that’s what is meant by ingredients), but we seem to employ more and more people in the service industries and they just eat cake.

So we need to get to the heart of the problem, we need to produce, and that means hard work. Not something we are used to. We have had the underdeveloped countries to produce for us with cheap labour, but now the greedy so and so’s want some of the cake. Our cake! being eaten by the underdeveloped countries, just because they are doing the production work, blooming cheek. Think about it.

Sorry folks, if we are to survive we have to start working in manufacturing and selling our goods to the world. We have to stop kidding ourselves that the unemployed are working just because they are in higher education, in the over staffed civil service pushing pens, in the health service as highly paid managers. They are equally as big a drain on our countries as the unemployed, and I don’t mean those that are unfortunately out of work for a short period because the company they worked for is losing work. I mean families that haven’t worked for two or three generations.

I hope whoever gets in at the Elections about to take place in the U.K addresses the production of goods to be sold for cash – we need cash – it doesn’t grow on trees.

Education is wonderful – benefits are often needed – tax breaks for the needy are fair – helping marriage is a good thing – better weapons for our armed forces – a replacement for Trident is a wonderful thing! well possibly. But can we afford them. Not one of those items produce hard cash for the kitty. Oh! but education is needed for the future, and more people are being educated – they even can get qualifications for knowing about the soaps on television, that should bring in the cash!

Oh well maybe I should be better employed working rather than writing, but in your seventies you tend to slow down. And I was in export selling chemicals all over the world for cash to come to the U.K.

Great Britain in the midst of Confusion

We have a Election in Great Britain to see who will ruin (whoops! Sorry run), the country for the next five years. Well we presume it will be for five years, but it could be less!
Total confusion exists, it seems whoever you vote for you are going to get some right Charlie’s in control. Now I always was a Conservative, Chairman of the Ward, Financial Area Committee, and Area Committee etc. Thought Maggie was the cat’s whiskers, I was a Conservative. But times have changed, NO I don’t favour Gordon Brown and his lot – they have spent 13 years flogging off our gold reserves very very cheap, ruined the private pension schemes, and as to the promises for the State Pension – well they certainly never happened. And just what are we doing in Afghanistan – we must be mad wasting good money there, and even more worrying wasting the lives of our armed forces (well sort of armed!). Get us out somebody. I could go on!

Clegg – sorry for me a waste of time, all his mob will do is guarantee that we will have NO CHANGE; we shall have eighteen years of Labour chaos not just thirteen.

So how about the Conservatives – sorry I can’t take to Cameron and Osborne, they come across as very weak individuals. I want a leader that speaks with conviction, who gives firm policies. We are in trouble, some of the world is in trouble – not all! We need to know how we get out of it. I have my opinion but it doesn’t always agree with others, and anyway I’m not in charge. So what does Diddly David intend to do?

Then comes the rest. BNP – Green Party – UKIP – you name them – we’ve got them. Actually I rather think that Nigel F whatever could be a good vote. But he’s got more sense and is an MEP where all the decisions are made.
Maybe we should not just get rid of the House of Lords (not my idea), but get rid of the whole lot. NO PARLIMENT what an idea, now that does sound a good idea. Can I have your expenses please I could do with being wealthy and on a good thing.

Will I vote, I suppose so. No apathy in my blood. One year I went to voting booth, took the form and put a cross on the complete paper. Well I did rouse myself and go to the voting booth.

AND THATS WHAT YOU SHOULD DO, GO AND VOTE.THEN WE SHALL GET WHAT WE ALL WANT? COMPLETE CHAOS AS USUAL

Iceland made a mistake, they sent Ash not Cash

It seems Margaret and I got back to England just in time as all flights in and out are now a subject of when!
The main reason for coming back to the U.K was to possibly sell our house. We have talked about it for the last couple of years as it was far to big for just two people to rattle about in, and the garden needed a lot of work every-time we came back.
We arrived at Luton airport in the early hours of Tuesday the 30th March to be met by our daughter. Arrived at our house on the Wednesday afternoon and the following day we decided on a estate agent and went to their office, agreed a price to sell at. The next day was Good Friday, by the following Friday we had agreed a price/offer and went to my daughters on the Sunday for a couple of days – just to see if we fancied anything near her that was much smaller to our current house.
Now we are back at our house, and assuming the paperwork all goes according to plan we are moving fairly out soon. Now packing and organizing everything takes precedence over all else. But Blog I will and I have now got Talk Talk (Broadband) so there is no excuse. But I am fairly busy, still I can’t leave the country now as the ASH is spreading far and wide. Hope everyone enjoyed their Easter and had plenty of Hot Cross Buns and Chocolate Eggs. Regards to all Patrick

Absent due to work load

Should be back blogging next week – early. Have been busy in the U.K. over the last two weeks. Changed my car, thanks to my daughter giving me one that is very nice. Had an offer on my house and accepted it. So it’s up to the paperwork going through O.K. And I shall have installed ADSL tomorrow so I shall be sorting things out this weekend. Not bad for two weeks! Look forward to blogging - Patrick

Have to fly now

No not unaided, by plane in four hours time. Changing base so next blog will be in about 72 hours from the U.K. and not Canary Islands. See you then. Patrick

Confessions of a Magician

Several people who have bought any of my books have asked, are you a pagan – it seems that if you favour magicians you must be a pagan. A pagan is someone who professes a religion other that Christianity, Judaism, or Islam. It doesn’t mean you are irreligious, or without belief. I do not judge other religions.
If they follow reasonable doctrines then they have my support.

However I am a magician – not for children’s parties – no rabbits out of a hat. A magician is believed to be a wise and knowledgeable person who listens to all, and uses the knowledge for good. So that means I can join any religious sect or creed and still remain a magician. All religions are open to me.

I happen to belong to A.N.O.D or to give it its full title The Ancient and Noble Order of Dendara. For many years it was the Noble Order of Tentyra but time has meant that its name has kept up with modern place names. As you can see the Disciplines refer to an even earlier name


The Disciplines of Enet-te-ntr

1. Honour and respect your Gods
2. Do not yourself kill or bear the sword against your fellow man.
3. You must give respect to your fellow man of that to which he is entitled.
4. You must not lie, or make false accusation.
5. Do not take that which is not yours or given.
6. You must not be guilty of envy.
7. Do not commit adultery.
8. Honour your Father and Mother, and your family.
9. Seek knowledge for the betterment of your fellow man.
10. Observe equality between woman and man.
11. Observe the holy days.
12. Keep private that which is best unsaid.

If your faith, the one you follow, can say it follows the same disciplines then yours must be an honourable faith. I would not call you a pagan or heathen if you do not hold one of the principle religions. And yes, the magicians of our order do follow varied faiths. They do follow Judaism, Christianity and Islam. In addition some members follow Non - Abrahamic faiths including Dhamic faiths.

The question often asked is can you join? Unfortunately that is not possible, you don’t actually join; you must be invited by the Grand Council, and their requirements are not easy to meet. Am I a pagan? The question is what is a pagan?

May the power go with you, and guard against sinners.

The way forward

We complain about the way our politician’s fail, in our opinion, to lead us on the golden path to prosperity but do we suggest anything to help!

The current problems are down to them, they were the cause because they didn’t follow our words of wisdom. O.K let’s see if they can sort it out! But what of the future? What people have they will be loathe to give up, take what you can back but don’t expect much cooperation. The answer is don’t give away anything more.

To start with. Government departments are overloaded. So don’t recruit anymore staff, redeploy that which you have. Retire everybody at the same age. In the U.K. that is 65 at the moment, it should apply to all workers – private or civil service. They won’t agree to that! Why not, if it’s a new retirement age, or out on your ear then they will have to listen. Strike – go on then strike, but we should make sure it’s without pay.

The biggest problem is too many people. True we cannot go in for mass extermination of sections of the people. But why keep producing more than we need! The world wide increase in population over the last century has been from 1,650 Million to 6,707 million. True the fertility rate in the developed countries is 1-2 children, but even in the U.S.A. it is 2-3 children. This fertility rate should reduce the numbers that draw on those nations resources. But Sub Saharan Africa and some Middle East countries have a fertility rate of 5-6 children and in some areas 7-8 children. And now with the ease of movement from one country to another, immigration is having a drastic effect on some of the indigenous populations.

As much as one country would like to assist another, we cannot support a massive explosion of population in other countries. And that is exactly what we are trying to do. Our governments must stop giving our money away and spend it more wisely at home. We should reduce any form of benefit that encourages more than a fertility of 1-2 children. I didn’t say stop having more children than two. But taxation after two children would stop much of the unbalance that is occurring in some developed countries by the immigrant population taking advantage of the child benefit allowances.

The use of the motor car draws on the petroleum industry; in the first place the design of electric cars should have greater emphasis. We can produce electricity from nuclear power; thereby our reliance on petroleum will be reduced. Something that will take our power supply needs away from external influence which should be seriously considered. It will also help to reduce climate change by less pollution.

I can think of other ways forward, but maybe your comments may have some?

'May the sun shine on the righteous?'

The recession is over! We shall soon be once again in the land of plenty, and the sun will shine on the righteous. I don’t think so! Fortunately we won’t be leaving it all up to our leaders; many of us are beginning to think that the gravy train has run its course. Look around, the shops with the luxuries are complaining that the customers are not rushing to buy. Certainly they are buying the basics, things to eat, and to try and keep us warm, without turning the heaters to high. The price of utilities, like electricity, gas, and petrol is rocketing.

We need to take stock and consolidate. But for younger people that is hard. Those of an older generation are thinking back to the times when rationing was part of our life. For example when you washed virtually anything you used in soda crystals. Now we need special and costly alternatives to remove stains from cottons and linens, to degrease cookers, additions to the washing load, de-scaling kettles, additives for the toilet – washing paintwork they all have special products.

Then there are the essential requirements for health. There are now gymnasiums, a multitude of vitamin pills, special clubs for walking or cycling, all with expensive equipment for participating.

Let’s go and watch the football, or the baseball, in fact to be involved in any sport is expensive, we thought about taking up golf until we found out the cost of just one golf club.

Then the cost of clothes, makeup, hairdressers, manicurist, pedicurists, and I am not talking just about women!

Have you been to the fish and chip shop, the burger kiosk, any fast food shop? No they are not a cheap way out nowadays. Restaurants were something you went to on special occasions, now the high streets are lined with them. Though I have noticed a few of them have closed, and ‘For Rent’ signs have appeared in the window.

The problem is when you are used to the soft way of living you expect it to go on forever. However the up and coming so called underdeveloped countries now want a slice of the cake, and you can only bake what you have the ingredients for. Possibly a little bigger than before; but not enough to keep the same soft living.

Cars, when I was young were for the lucky ones, youngsters would go out in the street and play ‘Please Mr crocodile can I cross your river’. You can’t now, there are cars parked everywhere. The road was the river, but now it’s full of obstacles. Play hop scotch on the pavement! Only if supervised; you need special, and costly, play areas in case of accidents.

The righteous, where are they? Actually they are out there enjoying the sunshine (climate change permitting), but their pursuits are more simple. They are taking time to look at the world, which is beautiful. And not trying to fill it with costly adult toys.

Phew! have you seen the games they show on the computers? Whoops – can I keep my laptop please it’s absolutely essential.

Tantra - and the ultimate sexual experience.

I have often felt the approach to a relationship between partners is often reduced to a very basic level. I think a full relationship requires Love – Tenderness – Respect – Dignity to be achieved normally between two people in a constant relationship. The Yoga of Sex with Love can achieve this. Sexual experience when limited to a basic mechanical action can never be truly fulfilling. Many individuals when making love; note the word love has again been introduced, often find they fantasize during the mechanical action to heighten the pleasure realised. Tantriks conscious of the psycho-sexual energy surrounding the sexual act, the act which has been recognised as the ultimate means of enjoyment, have wanted to make the enjoyment prolonged and further heightened. So they have stressed the need for Love – Tenderness – Respect – Dignity to be more important than the purely mechanical act which is dependent on just physical attributes.

So we should treasure all aspects of love making, not just the mechanical, but the scent, taste, sound, surroundings and the colour. This way you can attain true fulfilment with your partner. Eventually you will find the foreplay dominating your union. Preparation of your surroundings becomes very important. The use of scents, lighting, possibly with candles, soothing music, and a comfortable situation. You become conscious of the cosmic forces that surround you. Slowly, over time, the need for actual mechanical union becomes secondary; the pleasure of just lying close to one another becomes paramount. Now you are entering the many higher aspects of love making; you are realising that much is dependent on thought, desire, companionship, intimacy. Certainly physical copulation is not to be excluded, but we are considering coition without contact, something that the West finds hard to accept as they still regard sexual intercourse as the act of copulation.

So need we become a member of the Tantra thinking sect? No, there are many aspects and doctrines which might not be welcome. This short thesis is only to suggest that the sexual act should be taken to its highest level where LOVE – TENDERNESS – RESPECT – DIGNITY is important, and lust takes a back seat. Sex without physical contact!

I hope that this short thesis has been received with regard.

Education

One of the most discussed and controversial subjects you could think of is education. I think I’ll sling in my sixpenneth. (A sixpence? An out of date coin worth about 2 ½ new pence).

I missed two years of schooling just when I should have been learning ‘joined up writing!’ the result was I could never read my own written word. Therefore I didn’t start writing books until I had a laptop, then I could read ‘that what I had wrote’.

I failed to pass exams as a teenager. But did get geography ‘O’ level, which I don’t think counts really. I did travel a lot, maybe that helped with the geography, and I learnt to be polite, always a good thing. Also I was possibly overconfident, so I found it hard to worry when told to do something, just be polite, and then get on with my own thing.

The school rang my parents one spring. ‘Has Patrick got over his illness yet?’ Illness? My mother was confused, I’m not sure what she said but they seemed satisfied. I returned to the classroom after three months of doing my own thing during the day. Well I had learnt how to amuse myself for two years when I was 9/10 years of age, so it was easier at sixteen years of age.

I joined the army at eighteen and got married five months later. Then after three years in the army I was demobbed. It had been a pleasant three years, mostly based in Germany where I had lived for a little time as a youngster. In the Army I had quickly found a niche that suited, I was responsible for organizing the extra food purchases, and drink for the officer’s mess as I could speak a little German; I also ran three mess bars. I had found how to keep out of the way, be well fed, and have sufficient to drink. It wasn’t very satisfying, and they didn’t allow married quarters until you were twenty one. Get killed as a soldier, but not old enough for married quarters!

Then I went into industry working for other people. Four years of that and I’d had enough, so I started my first company. Education did I ever study? Yes, night classes in French, sculpture, and careful attention to good wines. Also to plumbing, electrical installation, farming, the last three by experience and books; and when I was sixty one years old I wanted to pass an exam in General Horticulture with the Royal Horticultural Society for my personal satisfaction,. After three years study I passed.

My mother used to read classics to us as children, and we learnt to read very early, so I enjoyed books. Conversing with adults was easy, in my teens I had had only adults to talk to for almost two years when living in mainland Europe. Spelling and grammar sometimes confuses me.

School teachers I always seemed to get on with. I didn’t pass the exam to go to the grammar school, but because of having missed two years schooling they gave me an interview. My forte, talking to adults, I was in. I do remember encountering the two headmasters from my grammar school (they changed over halfway through my time at the school). It was just before I started my own company and by then I was a Senior Security Advisor to a national company, and frequently gave talks on security. Therefore as a young man I also was an after dinner speaker on the subject of commercial security. On this occasion before me were about forty senior local business men. Normally I don’t dry on these occasions, but I was into full throttle when for a second I did. Well two ex-headmasters, who had been the very serious and strict, listening intently to you and looking straight at you, can almost put you off.

Education, yes you do need it but what sort of education. Education is the act or process of acquiring knowledge. To be educated is to display culture, taste, and knowledge, cultivated on experience or information. But be careful when you educate somebody, careful just how much emphasise you allow to be put on indoctrination when you educate.

You should allow learning to be a pleasure, and that is not always achieved in the lecture room.

Sundowners

Often, where we live you get invited in for sundowners. An excuse to drink, the trouble is my drinking habits have slowed down and I ask for coke! Now that puts a spoke in it. ‘But you drink red wine’ is the reply.

‘Yes but first I’d like a soft drink if you have one?’

‘ A diet coke O.K?’

‘No I drink my coke straight.’ I never could see how they were supposed to taste the same, ‘cause they don’t.

‘Oh, how about red wine?’

So red wine it is, and to slow it down I ask. ‘Could I have a glass of water as well, still water please, not sparkling?’

‘Not sparkling!’

‘No still, and not from the tap.’ On Tenerife the calc in the tap water is horrific, and you can get gallstones easily. Well over a number of years anyway.

‘If you’re worried about gallstones you needn’t. It takes quite a few years, and you’re well over seventy!’

Now! it seems I’m a grumpy old man, over fussy and difficult. My wife can see invitation books having our name scrubbed out throughout the neighbourhood. ‘He’ll have sparkling water.’

So its red wine and sparkling water, thank goodness we don’t have to drive home.

I do like wine especially red wine, Beaujolais is a favourite and one day I’ll tell you about the Feté Raclet that is held the first weekend in October.

The World We Live In

How often do you say ‘I don’t understand?’ I seem to say it dozens of times every day. I switch on the news in the morning and before long I am absolutely bewildered by what is reported. Today in Britain we are told that three former Cabinet Ministers are suspended for actively seeking work with companies, and to be paid cash if they lobby senior politicians.

We are talking about Ministers who were elected to look after and safeguard our interests. They are now intending to try and influence expenditure of our money (which we are told we haven’t got) for commercial interests. They do so because of their previous employment on our behalf when they made contacts and friends. This is offensive.

Also it’s the amounts I don’t understand, they wanted between £3,000 and £5,000 A DAY. I can’t work that out in dollars as the pound is rapidly falling in value under the guidance of Mr Brown our Prime Minister! These former Ministers are to receive a hefty pension and a golden handshake after this coming election.

‘I don’t understand’ how they think the British pensioner can exist for a year with less than what they consider is two days extra pay. These were the people who have been elected into power to look after the people – fat lot they cared.

Now I commend the Healthcare Programme the USA is going for. Those that didn’t have health care will now be able to be attended to. Some 32 million Americans. However the cost of insurance will now go up and the STate control of insurance might have drawbacks. But the basic idea must be good. But ‘I don’t understand’ where the money comes from for this extra medical attention, I thought the world has just been (or is still going) through a recession and we need to tighten our belts. A great idea but where is the cash?

‘I don’t understand’ Climate Change. I’m sure they are right (the experts that know). It seems we have a problem. But why do we keep increasing the population? Surely less people would mean less pollution. Fewer cars, less power stations, less chopping down of trees, less medical care, less everything. But we keep paying out more and more benefits for people to produce more offspring. Very commendable I suppose, but we are in debt, so we are told. Who pays?

I think the world is a wonderful place; it’s exciting, beautiful, and full of tranquillity; but only when I get away from the maddening crowd.

We elect politicians to administrate, but they are the curse of civilization; they are the ugly side of the world. We elect them to keep everything on an even keel, but they seem to ignore the job they were elected for, and just have their snouts in the trough

‘I just don’t understand!’

Kick boxing inThailand

Have you ever been a tourist? So everybody has, and you may have noticed wherever you go there is a dance troupe who come to entertain you. Maybe you indulged yourself and went to see a special show. Somehow they seem to be false, not quite genuine.

We went to the Rose gardens just outside Bangkok to see typical Thai dancing – cock fighting – Thai kick boxing. The kick boxing was very elegant, almost like a ballet, I couldn’t understand why it was considered to be so brutal.

Next stop was Pattaya. Now this was over thirty years ago and I was still interested to see what genuine Thai kick boxing was all about. After much cajoling the tour guide agreed to take my wife and I, and two other gentlemen from our hotel, to a kick boxing match on the outskirts of what was then a village.

We entered a large shed with a corrugated roof and it was hot and crowded. We were very privileged and sat with the local bookmakers. Behind us and keeping the excited audience back was a barbed wire fence, and in front of us the ring. We were at eye level with the ring and close, so close you could see the countless insects bouncing up and down on the floor of the ring. By this time we were perspiring with the heat and humidity. Finally the first bets had been laid, a whistle blew and the first two very young contestants entered the ring. Now I never did work out who decided when each round came to an end. To me it seemed it was decided by how many teeth had landed on the floor. I watched in horrified fascination as the contestants sat on their stools, the blood dripping from their faces. Then a bucket of ice was produced and a couple of handfuls were pushed into their groin box. These boxers were hot; perspiration was dripping from them and mixing with the blood. But what that ice felt like I can’t imagine but they certainly sat upright.

Back at the hotel the guide asked if we found our visit interesting. The answer was ‘Yes’ interesting, but I felt that in future, he should always check before visit that the tourists had stomachs as strong as ours. Fortunately I am also assured that conditions have improved, although from what is shown on the silver screen nowadays I’m not too sure!

One thing I am sure about life has many facets.

Pleased you all liked Venice, thank you.

Venice is Exotic

I like to travel to other countries but don't often make repeat visits to the places I go to. So as a I had,as a nine year old boy visited Venice just after World War Two, it was no surprise that I hadn't made a return visit. Finally I went with my wife and was enchanted. Now I dream of one day buying an apartment and spending loads and loads of time there. I was also tempted to write about visiting Venice. So if you feel like it, make yourself comfortable and sit back with a drink and read on

Going for a short break? 'Have you ever been to Venice', a silly question, but you have started reading so you’ve fancied the idea, but then … it is not so silly a question because like many you haven’t. The grandeur, culture, spectacular building, piazzas, and the maze of canals weaving amongst the buildings and under the bridges; if you’re not tempted by them, then you are not a traveller, not an aficionado of the beauty of beautiful cities. If you haven’t been then you should go, it should not be missed, it should be top of the list for your next break away from mediocrity.

This is a city to be savoured by the fortunate, with its exotic culture. The allure of so much beauty contained in one place should not be neglected. An over the top introduction, yes, but justified. Often you, the reader, will leave it for the next time, don’t.

So where should you start. Book your flight to the ‘Marco Polo’ airport; you land right on the water front. Then take the taxi or ‘vaporetto’ to the Zaccaria or San Marco jetty, walk

through St Marks Square and into the sestriere, the area, of Castello Ovest. Select a hotel somewhere within a stone’s throw of the Piazza San Marco, possibly halfway between the Piazza and the Rialto Bridge.

Find a small hotel, of which there are myriads. Many are hundreds of years old but wonderfully modernised. The question is how do you find such a hotel; before you leave for Venice look on the internet, and if you haven’t a computer then go to a computer café and ask somebody how, there are several excellent web sites that will give you plenty of details. Most hotels in the Castello Ovest district are nestled amongst the craft shops that crowd the old calle’s, the narrow lanes that abound with wonderful restaurants serving good food, all within walking distance. You are about to have your senses assailed with so much history that you need to become part of it, to literally drink and eat a fascinating culture of love and beauty; to stay outside the center is to miss part of the cities heartbeat.

Everything is changing, the ‘serenissima’ loved by the Venetians will disappear as they leave to make way for the tourists. Hurry, there is still time to take a ‘gondola’ trip early in the evening with your loved one, to have ‘Casanovas’ house pointed out to you, and imagine him leaping from his gondola and vaulting over the balustrade into his home pursued by an irate husband.

The gondolas painted in traditional colours weave their way along the canals, the houses standing in the water, the foundations in many places are frayed by the tides of centuries. The facades are sometimes faded, the surface crumbling, others have been recently painted and the evening sun paints a glorious technicolour picture as you turn each corner, your gondolier calling out a warning to traffic coming from the other direction. If you agreed a fair price your gondolier will usually take you out onto the Grand Canal where you can see the ‘Ponte di Rialto’. Designed by Antonio Ponte in the sixteenth century it is a bridge of souvenir shops and in the peak season is packed with tourists.

The next day when back on foot exploring the many narrow lanes, and crossing back and forth over the small bridges, do take the opportunity to cross over the Rialto, and then go to the market and shop like a Venetian in the fruit and vegetable market, or buy some flowers, look at the fish stalls but possibly not a good choice of purchase to take back to your hotel room.

Remember this was the central harbour of old Venice and is alive with the exotic history of the streets. Stop for tapas at one of the ‘bacari’, the local bars, try the plump prawns or bite into a ‘panino’ of ham or cheese

Later you can shop for your souvenir, leave your hotel a little earlier than you need and look for the mask shops in the narrow lanes, the ‘maschere e costumi’.

Go in and talk with the owner, learn how the shop has been with the family for generations, how his mother designed this mask, and his aunt another, admire the multitude of masks, fascinating designs and colours, the black and white mask that covers half the face and is called a ‘baúta’, then you can buy your souvenir from the family that made it.

Next stop the restaurants for your evening meal, these will offer a range to suit all tastes. Antipasti! you will never taste antipasti to rival the restaurants of Venice, now you will understand why the fish market was so varied: thin slices of tuna, monkfish, scampi with a dressing of olive oil and balsamic vinegar, this is antipasti to dream about. Then the pastas of Italy, but such pastas, and the Parmesan cheese to grate on them.

Onto the wild duck, and the Carpaccio, thin slice of raw beef also with Parmesan, it’s a gastronomic adventure, be bold. Your visit has started with the vibrant heart of the city, the living part of the Venetian people. Dinner served by candlelight on a waterside terrace or in a secluded passageway, at the top of quaint iron steps on a small balcony looking down into a charming little square, a campiello. Now you are beginning to feel the pulse of Venice.

Next day, early, take the ‘vaporetto’, the local water bus, a No1 will take you the length of the Grand Canal and you can see Venice from the water for a few euros. The bustle of this waterway will take your breath away. If you are there for the first Sunday in September then you will have to take your place on the canal terraces, find a good place to watch as the Historical Regatta takes over the Grand Canal starting at the Bacino di San Marco. The Palaces hang banners from their windows and balconies and the gondoliers wear magnificent costumes, the procession is a splendid sight. There are other processions on other days, but if you miss them don’t worry the Grand Canal is always a grand procession.

You can pass under the ‘Bridge of Sighs’ on a gondola trip, but if you didn’t, and it’s normal not to go in that direction? Then remember when you visit the ‘Palazzo Ducale’ the Doges Palace; and the ‘Palazzo Ducale’ is one place you must not miss, half price if you are over that certain age, but you must ask. So remember when you visit the ‘Palazzo,’ then make sure you cross over it.

The Bridge of Sighs that is, and then visit the dungeons. Not a pleasant place, different to the Palace, but even Casanova spent some time there as a resident. Viewed from the lagoon it is impressive, viewed from the Riva Degli Schiavoni or the Piazzetta its outstanding Gothic architecture, with its graceful loggia and arcade supporting the towering upper levels is overpowering but you have to go inside to find the real splendour of the palace Again the question, ‘where to start’, well go up the ‘Scala d’Oro an impressive staircase leading to the ‘Doges Apartments’, rooms devoted to paintings by the Venetian School, and if you don’t like art, and not everybody does, then keep going. Be impressed by the ceilings, by the room of the maps of the world, but keep going until the armoury, surely the amazing pieces on display must cause some excitement

Bridge of Sighs in the background

Then when you’ve had your fill of the arts for one day come out into the Piazza San Marco. Push through the bustle of the crowds that throng the square during the day. Let’s try something different, we can go to the Basilica tomorrow, so we turn our back on it and head off down the right side of the square, half way down we turn into the side streets and soon come to another museum, and here we find the secret libertine side of the ‘serenissima’, the Museo D’Arte Erotica. Half price for students, and after a bit of persuading, half price for grey haired oldies, you will have found a little window into the life of Casanova and the courtesans of years gone by.

Venice is not expensive; true you can pay exorbitant prices for everything but you can everywhere in the world it’s just a case of avoiding the tourists traps. But one trap is hard to avoid, you must have coffee or drinks in San Marco square, it’s traditional. Here you can sit and listen to the music in the evening sipping a coffee. There are always plenty of seats even at the Caffe Florian, and plenty of beautiful people, all listening to the music.

Now the square is not crowded but pleasantly busy, most strolling between the cafés, standing to listen to the music.

We were innocents and sat down; two coffees at 7.80 euros each were a bit steep but then it’s a tradition to visit the cafés. The bill puzzled me at first, 26.60 euros; then the reason for standing became apparent, 5.50 euros each for the music. But we went back another evening and sat down again, I do hate standing. But as I said it’s a case of avoiding the tourist traps, you’re welcome to stand.

Souvenirs are always a must wherever you go in the world, and earlier I tried pushing you into buying masks, but there are other traditional buys. Near our hotel the company of Pauly & C. were demonstrating the famous Murano glass of Venice; I hasten to add, recently of Venice. The last of the workshops has moved out to Murano a group of islands nearby which are easily reached by vaporetto or water taxi.

Now they will only be selling their glass products in what originally were their workshops. The glass manufactures of Venice were in 1291 told to move out of Venice following another devastating fire started in the glass works. They still

shipped their glass through, what was then, the main harbour at Rialto hence it often still being referred to as Venetian glass. It’s been a slow process moving out, very slow, and now Venetian glass is really Murano glass but it is a worthy souvenir.

Have I wetted your desire to visit Venice, I hope so, did I leave anything out! Actually I never got started; the city has so much to show you, so much to give that I would be egotistical to attempt to describe everything, there is so much. YOU MUST GO.